Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cranky Baggie

Where does the time go? The Bag Lady can't believe it's almost the end of July. (Un-de-believable, as one of her friends - who is not a native English speaker - says.)

The Bag Lady is full of little complaints (yes, and aches, too) today. She got up early today with the Rancher..... he gets up between 3 and 4 am to leave for work (and doesn't get home until 7 pm - talk about a long day!) and has been battling cramps in her legs (which is why she couldn't go back to sleep for the 2 hours until her own wake time.) The Bag Lady has degenerative disc disease in her back and has been having a bad spell for the last week or so. Something has shifted yet again, causing pain, numbness and muscle weakness in her hips and legs. She has been experiencing so much muscle weakness, in fact, that she will suddenly fall to her knees! Which causes her to exclaim "Jesus!" in as joyous a voice as she can fake, in an attempt to convince people that she's been overcome by a religious fervour (fever?) and is falling to her knees to pray. (It's probably not fooling anyone, but she thought it would be better than saying "Fuck!" in public!)

She saw her doctor about this last week. She asked him rather pointedly exactly what percentage of her lower extremities had to be numb before a specialist would take her seriously. (When she saw a specialist a couple of years ago, he condescendingly told her she wasn't in bad enough shape - he couldn't do anything for her.) When she told her doctor about falling down, he decided that perhaps a CT scan was in order to have a look at what's going on. So now she is waiting for a call from the hospital where the scans are performed.

She's also a little ticked off at Google. She doesn't keep up with a lot of the goings-on around the interwebs, but remembers hearing something about Google and Hotmail joining forces (or something to that effect). Her problem is that she has multiple personalities email accounts, and used to sign in to both, which allowed her to be the Bag Lady at the same time as she was herself. Now, though, when she is signed in as the Bag Lady, Google won't allow her to be herself! So she truly does feel as though she has multiple personality disorder because she isn't allowed to be aware of what her other personality is doing! Sigh.
To make matters worse, Blogger won't let her post any photos this morning, which is why y'all are being subjected to her litany of complaints! She will stop whining soon, though, because she has to go for a mammogram and an ultrasound this morning before she goes to work. Perhaps the idea of having her poor tiny tatas pancaked is contributing to her crankiness.....


Leah J. Utas said...

Oh, my. Well, you do have a lot to complain about and I say have at it.

Best of luck with the CT scan. They're quick, if nothing else. Hope the other tests work out in your favour.

Cheryl Kohan said...

Wow! I'm with Leah...have at it, girl! Fingers crossed that the tests all come back with good reports. At least, maybe they'll be taking you seriously, for a change.

messymimi said...

Your health will be in my prayers.

I hope the tests today show all is good, and the CT helps the doctors to help you quickly.

Word verification is heareled -- a combination of may the Lord hear and heal, perhaps?

Geosomin said...

oh dear - hope and the scans and squishing goes alright...and that they get you in for a scan quickly.

Hope today is a better day for you.

Anonymous said...

While I am so sorry to read of your pain and agony, you succeeded in making me laugh out loud over the description of dropping to your knees in public while pretending religious fervor. At least, whenever the kiddies are listening...
Unfortunately, you have to be the squeaky wheel to get the grease... or at least, the doctor's attention! Keep squeaking, squawking, and complaining until something gets fixed! When I looked it up on spineuniverse.com, they said this:
"Warning Signs You Need Immediate Help
* Pain is getting worse
* Disabling pain
* Leg weakness, pain, numbness, or tingling
* Loss of bowel or bladder control

My brother has ankylosing spondylitis and lives with constant pain. I don't know how he does it (besides medication and plenty of beer).

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Oh, wow. One thing that supposedly helps with muscle cramps is drinking pickle brine. I've never tried it, but I've read that scientific studies on athletes have actually confirmed that it works. It may be something to try while you continue seeking help for the primary reason for your problem. Be sure you're getting enough D, too.

Melissa said...

BL, you should have noted "NSFW" at the top of this because I burst out laughing right here in my cubicle and now everybody knows I'm obviously reading stuff online instead of working.

Melissa said...

I forgot to say, I sure hope you feel better soon! Golly.

Reb said...

Well, maybe this time they will be able to do something about it. I hope your tit-squish comes up clean. Maybe you should start wearing knee pads around?

Marste said...

Oh, my. I'm sorry to hear you're having problems! But . . . you share them hilariously, cold comfort though that is. ;)

Fingers crossed that they get you in for a scan soon!

solarity said...

I think you have enough to be cranky about to last a week or so; packing it all into one day is quite unnecessary. Don't over do.

Mary Anne in Kentucky

carla said...

I say whine away as well.
its yer blog and we come here to check in on you!

(and the rancher...and the cows :))

JavaChick said...

Oh Bag Lady! Very amusing post detailing a lot of crappy stuff. I hope you are able to get some help soon.

I actually had my first mammogram last winter and was surprised to find that it was not all that bad. Perhaps my tatas are just extra squishy.

the Bag Lady said...

Thanks, everyone, for your kind comments!
Thanks, cousin, for the reassurance about the CT scan!

Cheryl - thanks. I hope there is something they can do about this. It's a real pain in the ... knees!

messymimi - thanks. Maybe next time my leg gives out, actually SHOULD ask Him for some help!

Geo - thanks. The tests yesterday went quickly and were relatively painless. (And I'm hoping they are normal.)

kcinnova - glad you enjoyed the post! and thanks for the list - I have all the warning signs, except the last one. So I guess I need help.... oh, wait, we knew that already!
My cousin's husband has ankylosing spondylitis, and I have always admired his spirit! He is like the Eveready Bunny - never quits!

BG - yum - pickle brine! Next time I have cramps, I'll slurp some down and hope it stays down! Thanks for the tip.

Oh, Melissa, I'm sorry! I'll try to remember to post warnings next time! :)

Reb - thanks for the suggestion - I actually might consider wearing knee pads. My left knee is really starting to complain! That's the leg that gives out, so that's the knee that always hits first and it's starting to sound a little crunchy when I bend it!

Marste - thanks. Laughter is the best medicine, right? (Don't know how much it helps my knees, though...)

Mary Anne in Kentucky - I had to pack it all into one post because I didn't think anyone wanted to read whiney posts all the time! :)

Carla - thanks! I try not to whine too much because I know there are lots of people who are in much worse situations than I!

JavaChick - the mammogram wasn't all that bad - in fact, the technician told me my little tatas are the perfect size!! (At least they're the right size for squishing!)

Sagan said...

"not in bad enough shape" - now that REALLY makes me mad. THAT is how people get permanent damage, when the doctors don't take small injuries seriously enough. We should be working on PREVENTATIVE medicine, not trying to cure things when it gets out of control! Grr.

I hope that everything works out and that you're feeling better soon. Hearing about the Rancher's long day makes me grateful for waking up at 6am to go to the gym before today's 11-hour workday... it seems like a light day in comparison to his!

PS The image of religious fervour made me giggle :)

Hilary said...

Ack Baggie.. I hate this for you. I hope you can find some answers and relief very soon. Please keep us abreast of things. That was my mammogram humour. ;)