Friday, December 23, 2011

Holiday Wishes

The Bag Lady needed to go to town yesterday to finish up her shopping and get a few groceries for the holiday feast she is preparing. She had just finished drying her hair and was about to put on her makeup when the power went off. The sun was barely up, but the day was overcast, so her house was on the gloomy side. She had not yet put any makeup on (which consists of mascara to try to define the sparse, stubby little blonde things that pass as eyelashes, and some moisturizer to try to plump up the deepest craters) and was forced to do her ablutions by flashlight. She scrubbed her teeth with what she belatedly realized was the denture adhesive left in the drawer by a long-ago visitor. It tasted minty, but she couldn't force her teeth apart for the rest of the day.

Her optimistic estimate of how long it would take her to run her errands was quickly revised once she reached the outskirts and saw the traffic. Six hours later.... she was home again, triumphantly clutching a frozen turkey, a bag of cranberries and staring perplexedly at a red felt chef's hat with "Kiss the Cook" emblazoned on it. She's still not sure how it came to be in her possession.....

She spent the rest of the day alternating between worry over whether the Rancher will like his gift, find where his gift is hidden, and whether he will go ahead and buy one for himself when he does his traditional Christmas Eve day shopping.

Today begins the marathon of cooking and cleaning, decorating and wrapping that will consume the Bag Lady for the next couple of days. She has done some baking already, but needs to do more. She wasn't smart enough to hide the first batch of shortbread cookies....

She actually feels quite confident that she is well-prepared this year, which is probably partly due to menopause-brain. If you can't remember what you had planned to do, you can't be upset about not getting it done, right?

She hopes all of you have a safe and happy holiday season, regardless of whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas or Festivus!

16 comments:

Hilary said...

Menopause brain can be bad.. especially when you unexpectedly end up with Kiss the Chef hats and brush your teeth with glue. ;)

Have a great Christmas, Baggie. Hugs to you. :)

the Bag Lady said...

Thanks, Hilary - Happy Hanukkah to you!

Leah J. Utas said...

You sure do have your adventures. I'll be chuckling over the image of the stuck teeth and chef's hat for quite some time.

Merry Christmas, Cousin.

the Bag Lady said...

And a Merry Christmas to you, too, cousin!

solarity said...

I am having A Day Off for the first time in months, and I'm just going to let whatever gets done get done. There's a turkey in the oven, and I'll be home to take it out in a few hours, but everything else is going to stay fluid, possible, changeable.

Mary Anne in Kentucky

the Bag Lady said...

Mary Anne - that sounds like a perfect way to spend a Day Off!
Merry Christmas!

Reb said...

Merry Christmas Sis! Hope you get your teeth unstuck in time to enjoy your Christmas dinner :)

the Bag Lady said...

Thanks, sis!
Merry Christmas to you, too!

messymimi said...

What is it with men going out and buying things for themselves right before the holiday?

Enjoy all the celebrating!

the Bag Lady said...

messymimi - he better not, if he knows what's good for him!!! :)

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Crabby McSlacker said...

Menopause brain as something to be thankful for, I like it!

Although Hilary's comment reminded me that I did actually put sunscreen on my toothbrush the other day because the tube was sitting where my toothpaste usually does. Menopause brain at least keeps life interesting!

carla said...

and much love for this season from the FLIP SIDE.

the Bag Lady said...

Crabby - at least your teeth won't have to worry about wrinkling in the sun!

Carla - and to you, my friend!

Redbush said...

The same thing happened to me. I was getting ready, just thinking of hopping into the shower when boom, the lights went out. Then it was- go down to the laundry room, get an ice cream pail of water to wash my face with, and sit by the dining room table to try to see myself in the portable mirror. Just as I finished putting my makeup on, the lights came back on, and no, I didn't have time to use the shower, or to splash my body with the rest of the pail of cold water. The stupid thing about it is that I had heard the announcement earlier in the week before, that the power wouldbe turned off this day at this time, and my meno-pause brain forgot to write it down. Hope you had a Merry Christmas!

CherylK said...

Belated Christmas wishes to you, too, my friend. I'm assuming that your teeth finally became unstuck.

I know what you mean about menopause brain. It's insidious...but also makes a great excuse when needed.

Would love to see a photo of you in the Kiss the Cook hat!

spokalulu said...

On the plus side, stuck teeth keep one from eating too much over the holidays...

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas! :)