Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sunday Silliness - The Bag Lady's Household Hints

The Bag Lady has decided to share some of her most closely guarded secrets for keeping your home in tip-top shape. (Well, okay, she’s making this up as she goes along…)

1. If your dog has gas on a regular basis, try giving him/her a tablespoon of plain yogurt mixed into dry dog food. (Okay, the Bag Lady isn’t sure that is going to keep your home in tip-top shape, but it might help it smell better!)

2. If you clean with vinegar, you are helping the environment, and your house will smell like pickles. (Not really…well, maybe a little.) Actually, using vinegar is a good idea for washing windows, or, mixed with baking soda to remove greasy build-up around your stove. You can clean your drains by sprinkling baking soda in the drain, then pouring some vinegar on the soda. The foaming action helps get rid of greasy build-up that may be slowing your drain. You can also use vinegar in the washing machine rinse cycle to help freshen and soften clothes. A dish of vinegar in an out-of-the-way spot will help remove odours from the air.

3. Sheesh, the Bag Lady Really Doesn’t Like Housework, so she’s almost out of handy hints! She sprinkles the filter of her vacuum cleaner with a little essential oil to help freshen as she vacuums. (Pretty clever, eh?)

4. If you walk around out in the pasture, avoiding those funny round greenish ‘rocks’ goes a long way toward keeping your house clean. If you do step on one of those, treat the ensuing stain like a grass stain (that’s basically what it is, except it’s been processed through a cow’s intestines.)

5. As everyone knows, beer (or wine) is essential for good housekeeping. If you serve enough alcohol to your guests, they won’t notice the dog/cat hair clinging to their clothing.

Okay, enough handy hints. (Whew, thinking those up was almost as hard as actually cleaning the damned house! Someone give the Bag Lady a drink…)

9 comments:

bunnygirl said...

As a fellow housework-hater, I have a few tips!

* Baking soda as a scouring powder. It gets coffee stains off white cups and glass coffee pots.

* Plain ol' newspaper and water for washing windows and mirrors. No streaks!

* Mr Clean Magic Erasers. Whoever came up with them is totally my hero.

* And the best tip of all... hire someone else to clean the house!!!

the Bag Lady said...

Bunnygirl - the Bag Lady uses Mr Clean Magic Erasers all the time!!(love them!) But beware, they take the paint off walls if you scrub too hard. Thanks for your tips! Nice to know I'm not the only housework-hater!

Leah J.Utas said...

Well Bag Lady I hate housework, too.
Spray vinegar on mould. That's my big tip.
I do most of my cleaning with baking soda so I'll back up anything you say about it.

I didn't know about the green rock stain. Makes absolute sense of course.
Great tips, and Bunnygirl is right about getting someone else to do it.

the Bag Lady said...

dfLeah: the Bag Lady would love to have someone else do it, but she'd have to clean before the cleaning person got here...wouldn't want them to see the mess!
And yes, baking soda is great for lots of stuff, but, as you know, the Bag Lady is a bit of a freak about germs, so she uses a lot of that environmentally un-friendly bleach. As you well know, there's a lot of shit on a ranch...and it gets tracked in on footwear and clothes, and doggy feet...

Reb said...

I use my Swiffer to wash my walls - not the one with the bottle attached, just the original stick one, but with the swiffer wet cloths. If you do it regularly, it keeps the walls clean. I know it is not environmentally correct, but it sure is fast. Of course if they haven't been done in a long while (like mine) then you have to actually use cleanser and elbow grease.

Washing soda (a little stronger version of baking soda) with vinegar and dish soap in hot water will clean the grease right out of your range hood vent cover. As well as the blades and covers on your summer fans.

Melissa said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Loved it.

My personal favorites: 1) microfiber cleaning cloths (nothing required but water) and 2) my Roomba.

Did you hear about Peg Bracken's passing? Her "I Hate to Housekeep" kept me sane during my early adulthood. Then it disintegrated from overuse and I descended into madness and chaos.

the Bag Lady said...

Hi, Melissa: No, I hadn't heard of her passing. That's a shame.
What's a Roomba?

Melissa said...

Bag Lady! A Roomba is a robotic vacuum cleaner!! It is the cutest thing--did you catch the news story the other day about people getting attached to their Roombas? It's so true! The first time we ran ours we just stood there watching it and cooing--it saved us no time whatever. Lately we've calmed down about it.

the Bag Lady said...

Melissa - okay, the Bag Lady has heard of those robotic vacuum cleaners, but didn't realize that's what they are called in the U.S.
Thought about getting one, but was afraid it would spook my pets!