Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Princess

A couple of years ago, the bag lady lost her dear, sweet dog who had been her constant companion for 13 years. When he first passed away, she swore she wouldn't get another dog for all those reasons we all use - to honour his memory; it would never be the same; he was irreplaceable; etc. After two long, quiet weeks, the bag lady started to reconsider. She was heart-broken at the loss of her golden retriever (truth be told, she still is), but it was so quiet and lonesome without him. It just isn't right to live in the country and not have a dog. So she started haunting the SPCA. Not a good place for someone as tender-hearted as the bag lady! She wanted to bring all the dogs home.



After a few weeks, she found a pup. An adorable little black ball of fur. Didn't take her long to decide that this was the one, so away she spirited the poor little thing. Soon, the little black ball of fluff sprouted long, gangly legs and was galumphing everywhere. She designated herself the protector of her domain. Now, some two years later, she maintains a vigil to rival Buckingham Palace against the evils that lurk amongst us. Her primary goal in life (other than chasing sticks and toys, and tormenting the cats) is guarding the yard against that most dreaded of all predatory creatures, the evil chickadee!





Yes, that is correct. The chickadee is the enemy. Those cheerfully chirping little critters who populate every backyard in this country are involved in an evil conspiracy which the Princess is fighting single-handedly. Single-handedly because she is the only one who knows it exists. She strategizes constantly, feigning sleep on the deck until the unsuspecting chickadee alights on the bird feeder over her head. Then she bursts into a frenzy of barking, hackles raised high, and chases the evil chickadee out of her airspace.



The chickadee is not alone in this conspiracy, either. The entire avian population is suspect and treated to the same considerations. Ravens, blue jays, magpies and woodpeckers all receive the same treatment. Even low-flying aircraft and helicopters are barked out of the Princess's airspace. She charges across the yard, hackles raised, barking at the intruder until it is out of sight (or across the property line) Then she trots back to her spot on the deck, grinning from floppy ear to floppy ear, to resume her vigil.





Another mission accomplished.





(names have been changed to protect the innocent!)

11 comments:

Leah J. Utas said...

I sleep better knowing The Princess is on the job.

the Bag Lady said...

Yes, the Princess is a fierce protector...except when she's asleep on the bed, like now! She also includes squirrels, deer, coyotes and elk in her collection of critters not allowed passage. She seems to have given up on the moose, though. One of them chased her back to the house once, so she pretty much leaves them alone.

Terrie Farley Moran said...

Bag Lady,

I don't fancy myself an animal lover, still I do envy your abundance of wildlife as well as your guardian Princess.

Terrie

the Bag Lady said...

Terrie, I've always had a pet of one description or another. Had a cat who followed me home from school (well, okay, I had to carry it a lot of the way, but it was so obviously tired!) and have had either a cat or a dog (or both) ever since. Except when I lived in an apartment. Lonely times, those. Can't imagine life without a pet. Well, except when I think how nice it would be not to have to clean up all that hair, or how nice it would be to go on a vacation, or not have to worry about getting home to feed the critter...but then, if I'd had children, I'd have a whole lot more to worry about, right?

Reb said...

At least Whi..er, um..the Princess, knows her property lines! Unlike that white noise I had (made a joke there...did you see that). If memory serves, your Princess taught mine how to bark, didn't she! At everything that moves!

the Bag Lady said...

Reb, that was the Other dog we had, remember? This one never met your dog. But she is amazingly good about staying at home. She'll chase the deer out of the yard, and they know exactly how far she will go, so they stop a few leaps beyond that, wait for her to return to the house, then back they come! And the birds, especially the ravens, have a lot of fun with her, too. They swoop low over her barking head, then circle lazily away. You can almost hear them laugh.

Hilary said...

Very amusing. I knew you were a natural for the blogosphere!

Gotta love animals... and you gotta watch for those killer chickadees.

Thnks for the laughs :)

the Bag Lady said...

Any time, Hilary!

Crabby McSlacker said...

I'm jealous you have a Princess to keep the evil chickadees in line. Our cat is far too mellow for guard-cat duties and noisy birds just screech and squawk with impunity. I fantasize sometimes about buying one of those super-soaker water guns and letting them have it at 5am when they get going. But a dog would be much more fun for scaring them off.

Missicat said...

And my Smudgie is ever vigilant to protect us from those other evil invaders, crickets.
I have noticed in the cat world, when you lose your beloved fuzzball that somehow word gets out over the "caternet" and very soon, another will come to take its place. Very strange...

the Bag Lady said...

Crabby,
My cats, unfortunately for the birds and mice, are extremely good hunters...many a day, I have discovered feathers, or half a mouse on the deck. I'm fairly sure the Princess wouldn't know what to do with one if she actually caught it!
Almost worse than the screeching birds are the woodpeckers who practice on our metal-sided shop at 4 or 5 in the morning!
Missicat, thanks for stopping by - I know what you mean about the caternet!