A couple of years ago, the bag lady lost her dear, sweet dog who had been her constant companion for 13 years. When he first passed away, she swore she wouldn't get another dog for all those reasons we all use - to honour his memory; it would never be the same; he was irreplaceable; etc. After two long, quiet weeks, the bag lady started to reconsider. She was heart-broken at the loss of her golden retriever (truth be told, she still is), but it was so quiet and lonesome without him. It just isn't right to live in the country and not have a dog. So she started haunting the SPCA. Not a good place for someone as tender-hearted as the bag lady! She wanted to bring all the dogs home.
After a few weeks, she found a pup. An adorable little black ball of fur. Didn't take her long to decide that this was the one, so away she spirited the poor little thing. Soon, the little black ball of fluff sprouted long, gangly legs and was galumphing everywhere. She designated herself the protector of her domain. Now, some two years later, she maintains a vigil to rival Buckingham Palace against the evils that lurk amongst us. Her primary goal in life (other than chasing sticks and toys, and tormenting the cats) is guarding the yard against that most dreaded of all predatory creatures, the evil chickadee!
Yes, that is correct. The chickadee is the enemy. Those cheerfully chirping little critters who populate every backyard in this country are involved in an evil conspiracy which the Princess is fighting single-handedly. Single-handedly because she is the only one who knows it exists. She strategizes constantly, feigning sleep on the deck until the unsuspecting chickadee alights on the bird feeder over her head. Then she bursts into a frenzy of barking, hackles raised high, and chases the evil chickadee out of her airspace.
The chickadee is not alone in this conspiracy, either. The entire avian population is suspect and treated to the same considerations. Ravens, blue jays, magpies and woodpeckers all receive the same treatment. Even low-flying aircraft and helicopters are barked out of the Princess's airspace. She charges across the yard, hackles raised, barking at the intruder until it is out of sight (or across the property line) Then she trots back to her spot on the deck, grinning from floppy ear to floppy ear, to resume her vigil.
Another mission accomplished.
(names have been changed to protect the innocent!)