Well, the Bag Lady has certainly learned a few things over the past couple of days. Hopefully, she is smart enough to remember the lessons.
One of them will stick with her awhile, because she will be reminded every time she looks in the mirror.
She decided the other day, whilst waiting for the computer repair shop to call and tell her her computer was ready, that she would get a little tarted up for her trip to town. She bought some mascara a while back that is waterproof, smudgeproof, along with a bunch of other -proofs that she can't remember. So she curled her skimpy little lashes and coated them with this gunk. She managed not to get any in her eyes (not much, anyway) and only smeared a little of it on her eyelid. Once she got the smear cleaned away (with an industrial-strength make-up remover), she added a little blush and a little eye-shadow and was set.
She'll skip over the saga of the computer fiasco because she doesn't want this to turn into a rant, which brings her to Saturday night. She still had the mascara coating her lashes, because it doesn't come off with soap and water, and she hadn't bothered to haul out the industrial strength make-up remover. She was doing her Suzy Home-maker impression, making a nice pot roast for her Cowboy. She decided she had better check to see how things were progressing in the oven, so she opened the door and leaned in to pull out the roaster. She has done this the same way for her entire life and has never had a problem. But she was never wearing this particular waterproof, smudgeproof and everything but heat-proof mascara before. Before she even had a chance to say "Covergirl", her eyelashes had melted!!
Well, in truth, only the eyelashes on her right eye had melted. She must have had her head tilted a little and, in good boxer fashion, was leading with her right. The eyelashes on her left eye just formed a coalition. So now the Bag Lady looks even stranger than she normally looks because she has one bald eye. The one thing she is thankful for is that she only had the mascara on her top eyelashes - if she had applied it to the bottom lashes, she fears it would have melted together, effectively welding her eyes shut.
She is also thankful that the mascara seems to have a high melting point because she has been really steamed at the computer shop, to say nothing of the little tropical moments she experiences on a regular basis. She does think, though, that this particular brand of mascara should have a label warning against this kind of heat-induced melt-down. And she will be more careful in the future. That is, if her eyelashes ever get long enough to put mascara on again!
(She has a new magnet on her fridge: "I'm still HOT, it just comes in flashes now!")