Thursday, December 6, 2007

Kidnapped Coffee


The Bag Lady had a very strange experience yesterday. She woke up early, as usual, but not as early as the Cowboy (he had to drive 2 hours to his work site, so got up at 2 in the morning). She stumbled out to the kitchen for some coffee and her coffee maker was gone! That early in the morning, it takes the Bag Lady awhile to get the fog cleared away, and she generally uses coffee as an aid, so imagine her distress.


It didn’t really take her very long to determine what had happened, though. That particular coffee maker, although it made some damned fine coffee, had a little problem. It was one of those coffee makers that you press a button with your cup and it fills the cup. No carafe. This was the third such coffee-maker that we had gone through, and, in some ways, the worst of the bunch. It had a nasty habit of intermittently allowing the coffee to run down the back side of the cup, which then ran onto the counter top and down the front of the cupboard. Annoying as hell, but because it didn’t do it all the time, the Bag Lady hadn’t gotten around to replacing the coffee-maker.


There was a thermos carafe sitting on the counter, which had coffee in it, so the Bag Lady wasn’t totally caffeine-deprived. She didn’t have time to sit around drinking coffee for long that morning anyway, as she had appointments and errands to run in town. So she drank some coffee, then jumped in the shower to prepare for her day.


After her shower and breakfast, when the sun finally came up, the Bag Lady discovered what happened to her coffee maker. It was lying in several pieces in the snow in the middle of the yard! The Cowboy had previously threatened to “throw the damned thing out the door”, so the Bag Lady wasn’t too surprised to see it lying there.


When he got home, he told her that it had gone crazy that morning (she wondered whether it was the coffee-maker or the Cowboy…). Apparently, after he filled his thermos, the coffee wouldn’t stop running; out of the pot, across the counter and down the front of the cupboard! He had grabbed the extra thermos carafe and filled it, then took the coffee maker and threw it out the door as promised!


The Bag Lady had to laugh – and thank her lucky stars that she doesn’t live in a city with neighbours who would wonder why on earth her coffee maker was lying in the middle of the yard!
So the Bag Lady has a new coffee maker. With a carafe. Enough, already.
Just another day on the ranch.

8 comments:

bunnygirl said...

I've been frustrated enough to throw inanimate objects, but not usually out the door. :-)

Crabby McSlacker said...

It is possible with some coffee makers, I discovered, to make a pot of coffee, wander off, and then return to discover you have forgotten to put the carafe in and now the entire pot of coffee is all over everything. (Not possible for most people, but possible for me as I am particularly spacey).

I did this in a particularly embarrassing setting too, which was not my own house-- a whole story in itself which will perhaps someday have to be a blog post.

Glad you have a new one!

the Bag Lady said...

Bunnygirl - the Cowboy has less inhibitions than most of us! He has done this with frying pans, too. All the Bag Lady can say is, it's probably good for his mental health to express his anger in this way, rather than bottle it up, right? :)
Crabby - the Bag Lady has done that sort of thing many times...she prefers to believe she was 'thinking deep thoughts' rather than just being spacey, again!

Leah J.Utas said...

Good for the Cowboy. Many times I've wanted to chuck something out a door, or in my case, window. Defenestration just sounds like so much fun.

the Bag Lady said...

dfLeah - the Bag Lady is not a 'thrower of objects', but rather a 'cusser-outer'.
Neither is she a 'horn-honker' (you know, those guys behind you at the red light who start honking just before it turns green, or who honk at the least traffic infraction within their sight?), but in those cases where other people would be honking their horns, the Bag Lady has a serious case of toilet-mouth (oh, does that tie in to Crabby's post today, or what?)!

Reb said...

Well, at least he left coffee for you!

Geosomin said...

Got UP at 2?
I thought my guy had it bad with 4!

I've done that never ending coffee flow thing with a coffee maker...it's why I don't use the timer on my new one. I also confess to having taken an old calculator out and driven over it repeatedly after it failed on me in a final exam....feels good.

the Bag Lady said...

Hi, Geosomin! Yes - the Cowboy works some pretty wicked hours. He was loading logs that day and the trucks were supposed to be there at 4:30 am, which meant the Cowboy had to be up and on the road because the job site was a 2-hour drive away. Then he worked a 12-hour shift and drove 2 hours back again. Only had to do that for a couple days, thank heaven.
The Bag Lady actually laughed out loud at the thought of you driving over your calculator...she hopes there were no witnesses to the murder.